Whenever I tell people that I dislike my grandma, people look at me as if I just told them that I eat human babies for breakfast. Don’t get me wrong, I do not think this is an applaudable emotion to have for your family member especially the oldest living one. I wish I did not feel this way and that things were different, but unfortunately they are not.

In most Asian cultures, boys are idealized while females are looked down upon. This ideology has dated for millenias and while I disagree and most people in the Western cultures do, this is still prevalent in the older Asian generation.

My grandmother grew up in rural China with the “old school” mentality. She experienced it firsthand from her mother who also did not value her as much as her sons. After being exposed to this, one would think she would understand the pain a girl would feel when she is less valued than her male counterpart. But alas, her relationship with her mother did not change this prevalent belief system. It actually reinforced this belief. She idores my brother and thinks that he can do no wrong even though he may very well be the most unrespectful grandchild. I won’t get into details but he singlehanded ruined my teenager years and made it impossible for me to safe in my very own house.

I have made my peace with the relationship between her and I but sometimes I see the relationships of others with their grandparents and I wonder if there is something about me that is inherently unlovable. I wonder if it is just the Asian way if it is just her. Most of all, I wonder – WHY?

Maybe I am just not “Asian” enough to understand, but shouldn’t parents (and grandparents alike) love their children regardless of their gender? Am I any different from a male that can carry the family name?

Do you experience any inequalities from society because of your gender? If so, how has it affected you and your relationships?

xoxo,
h

My mom is a bit crazy and I am sure everyone’s mom is a little insane in the membrane, but my mom sometimes wins the cake.
Last night, she calls me to tell me that my cousin in China just had her first baby at the age of 35. Apparently she had a miscarriage early on so it took a little longer for her to actually conceive and have a baby full term.
After this news, she informs me that my Aunt Margaret wants to know when I’m getting married. I told her she will need to wait a little longer and of course my mom does NOT agree. She thinks that because I am already in a long term committed relationship, there is no point in waiting. I proceeded to tell her that you need money for a wedding.

Mom: “What? How much do you need? $20-30K?”
Me: “Um…. Mom. Do you have the money?”

She then sighs loudly and says goodbye.

Am I the crazy one? Or does she need a chill pill?

Does anyone else out there receive pressure from society to get married, have babies and the whole nine yards? If so, how do you react to it?

xoxo,
h

That was a mouth full huh? Well, whatever you celebrate- I hope you enjoyed your weekend.

My longgg weekend was filled with a boatload of food (family dinner in Chinatown = fatty in the making or already made in my case), crazy traditions courtesy of the boyfriend’s mom (more on that later), and the most un-romantic Valentines. But I am NOT complaining. I have never been the red roses and fancy dinner on Valentines (OK, maybe secretly, I want that just once, but for now, I am content).

Below is the awesome pancakes my man made me. Perfect? No, but delicious, YES!

Even without the romantic frills like heart shaped pancakes or even round pancakes, I still enjoyed my love-day.

Were you satisfied with your Valentine’s Day? Or were you disappointed? and why?

After being sick for two weeks, I have had NO motivation to work out and eat healthy. Now that my jeans take an extra minute to be put on, I think it’s time to break out the resolutions again.

Instead of hitting the beloved snack machine, I am munching on grapes to curb my sweet tooth.

Tonight, I am working out Jillian Michaels with her 30 Day Shred.

Here’s to being healthy and being in shape. Maybe one day, I can have her abs.

Have you fallen off the wagon lately? If so, how did you manage to get back on?

xoxo,
h

Going out with a big group is always fun because there is so much energy in the atmosphere and let’s face it: who doesn’t love their friends?

The only qualm I have about dining with 10+ people is always the splitting of the bill. Generally there is always a few people who out-eat everyone else but they somehow feel it is reasonable to go dutch. If I order an app and an entree, why should I pay for your app, entree, 5 beers and margarita? Am I being unreasonable or are they being greedy?

xoxo,
h

Everyone knows that cheating on a significant other is just simply unacceptable but what if the “other woman” was your friend. Would you condemn her and defriend her because what she is doing is completely against your values? Or would you simply accept her choices while internally judging her for her behavior?

I have a straight “no cheating” policy and most of my girlfriends would agree. If either of us were doing something so implorable, we would step in and spill the beans.

What would you do if your friend were the villian? Would you stand behind her?

xoxo,
h